1000 Ways To Die
Season 1 'Life Will Kill You' *Frank Soriani - Accidentally cut in half when run over by a truck, halves accidentally sent to different hospitals. (Semi-Cide) *Milos Dudak - Accidentally buried underneath 3 tons of sand by drunken co-worker Tom McNamara, suffocated when the sand compressed his torso. (Constriction Accident) *Bobby Joe - Bitten on the chest close to his heart by a rattlesnake, died minutes later. (Fang Banged) *Lori Pathouson - Accidentally steps into a puddle with exposed wires with in it and touched a metal pole, electrocuted instantly. (Lesbocution) *Mark Vogal - Bitten by his pet Black Widow spider, Elvira, killed by neurotoxin when it gave him a heart attack. His other pets ate his body for over two weeks. (Love Bugged) *Hector Madeira - Accidentally trapped inside industrial clothes dryer by work partner and spun around at temperatures of over 200 degrees Fahrenheit (93 degrees Celsius) for over six minutes. (Tumble Die) 'Hard Lives, Easy Deaths' *Billy DeMayo - Locked inside meat freezer by his mafia boss for stealing meat and getting his bosses' grand daughter pregnant. He dies of hypothermia. (Freeze Died) *Richard Paxon - Paralyzed due to decompression sickness while flying an airplane at twelve thousand feet after scuba-diving, crashes into the side of a mountain and explodes. (Dive Bombed) *2 Unnamed Friends - Paralyzed due to decompression sickness while riding in an airplane at twelve thousand feet after scuba-diving, crashes into the side of a mountain and explodes. (Dive Bombed) *James - Paralyzed by a Haitian witch doctor with tetrodotoxin (TTX) for the man's brother over a land dispute. The poison fakes his death after two days and is buried alive. He later suffocates to death, having tried to claw his way out, only wearing his fingers to the bone. (De-Coffinated) *Dalph Schmidt - Puts on a latex fish fetish suit and suffers hypothermia due to it being 97 degrees Fahrenheit outside (36 degrees Celsius). He dies of a heat stroke in just 15 minutes. (Wet Dream) *Unnamed Man - Tied to a tree, wrapped in animal skins, and then eaten alive by Vultures. (Fur Burger) 'Unforced Errors' *Ian Campbell - Accidentally jumped out of a building to his death when he jumped at a safety glass window, usually ending up not hurt to impress women, but this time he fell 40 stories to the ground when the glass shattered. (Habeas Corpse) *Jesse Dale - Accidentally pulled inside of a working wood-chipper while trying to remove a stuck branch with his foot. (Chippin' Dale) *Jason - Suffocated due to a lack of air, only helium, inside of a giant basketball. (Gasketballed) *Sarah - Suffocated due to a lack of air, only helium, inside of a giant basketball. (Gasketballed) *JT - Stung to death by hornets after shooting their nest with a paintball gun, not knowing he was allergic to hornet venom. (Me So Hornet) *Boris - Boris, a professional sword swallower, tries swallowing an umbrella but accidentally hits the release button and opened the umbrella, choking on it when he couldn't pull it out. (Dumbrella) *Jennifer - Using a carrot as a sex toy, a rough patch slices her insides and creates an air bubble which goes to her heart, suffocating her. (Killdo) 'Death Over Easy' *Myron Burns - Fell asleep while smoking and suffered 3rd degree burns over 90% of his body. Three weeks later at the hospital, he bribes a nurse to let him smoke outside and his cigarette ashes catch his bandages that are soaked in a flammable ointment on fire, he rolls down a ramp in his wheelchair and then his oxygen tank explodes. (Butt F***ed) *Alexi - Sufferings from SUNDS (Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome), she dreams every night that a demonic dwarf is strangling her. She dies of a heart attack. (Frightmare) *'James "Little E" Johnson' - Imprisoned for seven counts of murder, he sits on his toilet while watching Oprah. When his TV stops working, he grabs the cable which has exposed wire on it and his metal seat, then is immediately electrocuted like an electric chair and dies of cardiac arrest. (Oprah Winfried) *Randy - High on mushrooms, he comes across an actual furry orgy, and tries joining in. They all reject him and then he tries having sex with an actual bear, thinking it's another furry. He is quickly mauled and eaten alive. (Em-Bear-Assed) *Sonny - Used to performing a trick where he swallows a pool ball halfway down his throat and then regurgitates it back up. He tries the same trick with a cue ball, but doesn't know the cue ball is slightly bigger than the rest of the balls and he chokes to death on it. (Midnight Choker) *Arnold Moss - Peeping in through his neighbor's window while she was in her underwear, he puts his arms and head through the window to get a better look. When his neighbor sees him and she screams, he gets scared and tries retreating but his elbow hits a stick holding up the window and it falls onto him, snapping his neck. (Window Pained) 'Dead And Deader' *John Cook - An adrenaline junkie connects a welder to his ear piercings and turns the voltage up to the max, then dies of cardiac arrest. (Wel-Dead) *Chuck - A newly married man wants his new trailer home to be as clean as possible for his bride, but couldn't unclog his toilet, so he pours bleach down it and accidentally makes chlorine gas that suffocates him when he couldn't make it outside. (Trailer Trashed) *Ronald - While walking to a party with a date, he's hit by a stray bullet that bursts his heart. The bullet was fired into the air over a mile away by a man named Quame celebrating New Year's Eve. (Nite-Capped) *Mickey - A raging alcoholic has his wife give him an enema with a bottle of sherry since he can't drink normally due to recently having throat surgery. His blood alcohol level went up to .57 and died of alcohol poisoning since his liver couldn't break it down. (Sh*t Faced) *Coach Jacousky - Accidentally impaled himself in the eye with a javelin when he's running towards it while looking back at his students to talk to them, then suddenly looking back to soon. (Dead Eye) *Sam - A dominatrix called "Ms. Misery" forces him to wear a latex suit, which he doesn't realize he's allergic to. He can't tell her he's in pain due to the ball gag in his mouth and his pained cries sound like moaning, so he dies from anaphylactic shock. (Domin-A-Dead) 'Death Gets Busy' *Ed - After getting fired for his anger issues, he tries to attack his foreman in revenge, but is pushed in self defense into a vat of hydrochloric acid. The acid melts his entire body. (Deep Fried) *Natasha - She overeats due to her constant hunger from her diets and makes her stomach burst, killing her instantly. (Gorgeous Gorge) *Phil Harden - Accidentally killed himself by over inflating a tire which explodes and impales his skull with shrapnel. (Re-Tired) *Debbie - Injected with bad Botox by a fake doctor and is completely paralyzed when she steps into her hot tub and drowns in just 3 ft of water. (Botoxicated) *Carl - Suffocated on cocoa powder when it filled his lungs. (Choke-A-Lot) *Lenny - Suffocated on cocoa powder when it filled his lungs. (Choke-A-Lot) *O'Brian - Overexposed to radiation when his doctor, Dr. Montana, has sex with a nurse who accidentally repeatedly presses the button to turn on the X-Ray machine over his head. (Sex-Ray) 'The Lighter Side of Death' *Chester - Accidentally buried with a large pile of manure dumped by an unknown and unnamed man and suffocated from methane gas. (Dung for) *Monica - Ate live snails and contracted parasitic blood worms that ate away at her brains while she was still alive. A week later in the hospital, she dies. (Brain Worms) *Hans - Ate live snails and contracted parasitic blood worms that ate away at his brains while he was still alive. A week later in the hospital, he dies. (Brain Worms) *Dolph Scott - Shot in the neck by his ex-girlfriend and magic assistant, Mandalite, by accident in a stunt. The gun had only a blank inside but when he tapped the barrel with his wand, the tip fell inside, which acted as a bullet when it was fired. (Abracadaver) *Unnamed Man - Tried to smoke poison sumac leaves to get high, not knowing what it is, and died of pulmonary edema. (Weed Whacked) *Unnamed Man - Tried to smoke poison sumac leaves to get high, not knowing what it is, and died of pulmonary edema. (Weed Whacked) *Private Willie Holmes - Sentenced to death by firing squad for attempted desertion during the American civil war, but all four confederate soldiers missed their shots. The sounds of the rifles firing scared him so much, he died of a massive heart attack. None of the men knew at the time that the civil war had been over for two years. (Rebel Without A Pulse) *Donny Del Noche - Tied a 12 inch sausage onto his leg and hidden in his pants to impress women at a club, but several hours later, the cut off blood flow gives him a pulmonary embolism. (Kill Basa) 'The Good, The Bad, and The Dead' *Tracey - Accidentally cuts her legs with a rusty shaving razor and died of Sepsis a few days later. (Face Offed) *Jake - Accidentally shot in the chest when a snake wraps itself around his rifle's trigger and squeezes down on it. (Re-Coiled) *'Carmen' - After escaping from prison for murder '(how many is unknown) and meth dealing, she runs from the police and hides from them in a cold lake for 45 minutes. Unbeknownst to her, leeches bit her everywhere once she jumped in. Once she leaves the lake, she's too weak from hypothermia and blood loss to move and she dies. ('Sucked Offed) *Griff - After getting caught trying to steal a TV, he hides inside of a dumpster. A garbage truck quickly picks up the dumpster and accidentally drops him inside, it picks up another dumpster to dump trash onto him and pin him, then crushes him to death. (Re-Formed) *Kathy - While reeling in a fish, she yanked hard on her pole and the fish flew into the air and down her throat. She couldn't pull it out due to the scales of the fish and she choked to death. (Fin-ished) *Lucky Levison - To not be arrested while on parole, also being drunk with a hooker in his car, he shoves a pepper spray can up his butt. He gets agitated at a cop's questions and gets pushed back against his car which sets off the can. This sprays his insides, melts his rectum, and causes him to painfully bleed to death. (Butt-Plugged) 'Death Be Not Stupid' *Cisco - After robbing a bank and hiding out in the woods with a campfire, he accidentally smashes his bourbon bottle. To try and get drunk, he swallows some gasoline and immediately vomits it back up over his fire place, then bursts into flames. (Gas-Hole) *Hiroto - After seven years of being married, he was to shy to consummate their marriage. One night, they finally try and succeed to do so, but die of a heart attack from the shock. (Ichiboned) *Sikura - After seven years of being married, she was to shy to consummate their marriage. One night, they finally try and succeed to do so, but die of a heart attack from the shock. (Ichiboned) *Jake Basso - Suffering form Narcolepsy, he falls asleep inside of a curing oven while working. A friend of his, Manny, turns on the oven without knowing he's inside and he's incinerated while he's asleep but alive at 600 degrees Fahrenheit (315 degrees Celsius) for 12 hours. (Jake N Baked) *Darlene - Wanting to lose weight, she swallowed a tape worm on purpose. Two months later, she did lose 60 pounds, but she died when the tape worms started eating through all of her organs. (Die It) *Mickey - After terrorizing a neighborhood with his friend Luke by shooting several people with a paintball gun for a YouTube video, it malfunctions and launches the CO2 canister at Mickey's neck at 200 MPH (321 KM/H) and snaps it instantly. (Pained Gun) *Randall - An electrician goes fishing to try and cool down his anger issues but doesn't catch anything, so he gets agitated quickly. Using exposed wires while on his boat, he starts electrocuting the fish in the lake with 12,000 volts of electricity with an exposed wire, but accidentally steps onto the metal boat floor and is electrocuted instantly. (Deadliest Catch) 'Cure For The Common Death, Part 1' *Bernie - Wanting to celebrate The 4th of July, he made homemade fireworks and a fireworks launcher. When the fireworks didn't go off when he thought they would, he looks down the barrel of the launcher and it explodes in his face. (Red, White, and Blew) *Pierre - Suffering from Pica syndrome, he would eat small metal objects, mainly coins, all the time. He had an emergency surgery for it, but the metal had already cut major arteries and ruptured his stomach, causing him to bleed to death off-screen. (Bank Ruptured) *Li - Accidentally fell six stories out of his window to his death when he was jumping on his bed listening to heavy metal music. (Guitar Zeros) *Feng - Seeing his friend accidentally commit suicide, he followed his friend out the window to kill himself on purpose. (Guitar Zeros) *Wendy - While painting numerals on watches during the 1920s, she and several other women kept their brushes pointed by putting the tips in their mouths, not knowing the paint was radioactive. The paint also glowed in the dark because of this, she painted herself with it before she made love to her husband. She later died of bone cancer. (Radium Girls) *Taylor - Wanting to imitate Ozzy Osbourne who he believes once snorted a line of ants, which he didn't, he snorts several fire ants up his nose. The fire ants bite his insides and inject venom into his bloodstream, he dies when his throat swells up and he suffocates. (Oz Holed) *Conrad - Wanting to imitate Ozzy Osbourne who he believes once snorted a line of ants, which he didn't, he snorts several fire ants up his nose. The fire ants bite his insides and inject venom into his bloodstream, he dies when his throat swells up and he suffocates. (Oz Holed) *Sandy - After a near death incident during deep sea diving at 350 feet, she has to wait inside of a decompression chamber for several hours while nitrogen bubbles dissolve in her bloodstream. A maintenance worker opens to the hatch without knowing she's inside and within a nanosecond, she explodes when the nitrogen and oxygen in her blood mix together. (Tanked Girl) 'Death: A User's Manual' *Dave "The Egg" Vespucci - An obese and alcoholic man starts burping uncontrollably due to bleeding peptic ulcers. He convinces his girlfriend, Audrey, to punch him in the stomach to try and stop the burping but accidentally bursts his stomach and kills him. (Gut Busted) *Mike Arms - An amateur body-builder wants to be a professional but feels like no matter how much he works out, his muscles don't grow big enough or fast enough. To try and fix this, every day he injects steroids and growth hormones into himself and one day, while working out, he dies of a heart attack. (DestRoid) *Tricia - While texting her boyfriend Chet, she is accidentally run over by him because he was texting while he was driving and didn't see her walking right in front of his car. (Text Dead) *Patty - While golfing with his friend Nick, Patty hits a golf ball into the rough. While he searches for his ball, a rat climbs up his leg, bites him, and then pees on his wound in fear when Patty freaks out. A week later, he dies of an infection called leptospirosis. (Pissed Off) *Unnamed man called "The Dangler" - A thief tries to steal an expensive sports car but his leg accidentally gets tangled with his slack line and gets stuck hanging upside down for three entire days while building up blood pressure. He dies of massive strokes, hemorrhages, and shock. (Car Jacked) *Fred Garfield AKA "Laughy the Clown" - An alcoholic clown parks his car and a CO2 canister starts inflating a giant balloon in his back seat but is too drunk to notice it at first until it's too late. The balloon pushes him against his car door and compresses his chest, he quickly suffocates minutes later. (Blown Job #201) 'I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)' *Patrick - Drunk and wanting to impress women, he jumps off of a 60 ft cliff into a lake. Hitting the water at 30 MPH (48 KM/H) at a bad angle, water jet up his rectum and burst his large intestine. Massive internal bleeding caused him to pass out and then drown. (Water Logged) *Chuck - an easily amused man hears a joke from his friend that was so funny, he didn't stop laughing for 36 hours straight. He died of a heart attack due to the strain on his heart. (Funny Boned) *Yoshi Nakamura - Nervous for a job interview, he practices his introduction and bowing before he meets his boss Saichi Tanaka. When he finally meets his potential boss, he accidentally headbutts him and dies of an Aneurysm. (Bowed Out) *'Scott Randall' - Sentenced to death for killing three people, at first he showed no reaction to the lethal injection, due to the tourniquet being wrapped to tightly around his arm. Released from his restraints, he tries breaking the glass to escape but the poison was now able to reach his heart and quickly kill him. *Zack Taylor - An alcoholic thief, he steals a hot dog from a liquor store while running from the owner, but accidentally shoves it down his trachea and chokes to death on it. (Doggie Style #85) *Lucas - An insane man who has never dated reads in a magazine that you can make a sex toy by hooking up a car battery to a cow's heart (you can't, please don't do this). He buys a cow heart from a slaughterhouse and starts doing the horrible deed. When the 12 volts aren't enough for him, he turns up the battery and is killed painfully with 110 volts of electricity. (Heart On) Season 2 'Death On Arrival' *Connie - Quitting her temp job to become a stripper, she gets large but cheap and sub-standard breast implants, barely above being water balloons. Two weeks later, after boarding a flight to Las Vegas, her breast implants start expanding at 20,000 ft until they explode. (Titty Titty Death Bang) *Bernie - While high on the job with his friend, he gets the idea to ride a scooter with a rope tied around his waist while Casar 'drives around on a forklift while listening to music. When the rope gets caught underneath a car tire, the rope around his waist squeezes down on him until he's cut in half. ('Forked-Up) *Fiona - When she goes camping with her boyfriend Brad, she brings him into a tent to have sex with her, but he can't satisfy her so she kicks him out and away from the tent. While masturbating, a freak gust of wind lifts the tent into the air and drops her onto a metal roof a mile down the mountain, crushing her skull. (UninTented) *'Abdul '- While filling a briefcase with C4, the timer is set to explode in one hour at 1:45 PM, thinking it's 12:45 PM. However, they forget about daylight saving's time, and the bomb explodes. (Tali-Bombed) *'Habeeb' - While filling a briefcase with C4, the timer is set to explode in one hour at 1:45 PM, thinking it's 12:45 PM. However, they forget about daylight saving's time, and the bomb explodes. (Tali-Bombed) *'Earl Sigurd Eysteinsson the Mighty' - A viking decapitates his rival in battle, Máel Brigte, and he swings the decapitated head around by the hair and it accidentally bites his leg. Ten days later, after finally reaching his village, he dies of an infection. (Vike-O-Done) *Sasha - When she goes down on her girlfriend named Tanya, who is wearing edible candy underwear, the string snaps and she chokes to death on it. (Deadliest Munch) *'Stan' - While at an outdoor pool party, he continually annoys people with his religious beliefs to try and make friends, but fails miserably. Suddenly, he gets hit in the chest by a meteorite speeding at 400 MPH (643 KM/H) and dies instantly. The odds of this are 1 in 1,600,000. (Dead Meat-Eorite) 'Death Bites!' *Ray Roberts - Being a fake travelling salesman for weight loss products and having a fetish for morbidly obese women, he meets a 400 pound (181 Kilogram) woman called "Big Bess" and gets into bed with her. In a very bad idea, she gets on top of him, passes out due to the stress, and accidentally suffocates him with her body when she can't move off of him. (Ass Phyxiated) *Max Beers - Helping a man named Arnold train for his frat's "fart competition", he gives Arnold a "test burn" with a blowtorch while not knowing how flammable farts can be, and bursts into flames when Arnold lets it out. (Work of Fart) *May - A talented but clumsy violinist walks to her staircase and accidentally rolls her ankle because she was wearing heels, then falls down her stairs. Not wanting to injure her hands, he doesn't stop herself from falling and she smacks her head against a wall, killing her instantly. (Crash-endo) *'Mort' - A thief running from the police decides to hide inside of a sewer, crawling inside further and further until his arms got stuck and he couldn't move. Later at night, he hears something inside the pipe with him and turns on his lighter to find out it's a bunch of rats and starts screaming in fear. The rats, also scared, defend themselves by eating him alive. (Vermin-ated) *Claude - An elderly dying man has only two things that keep him alive, his respirator and his french maid named Fifi. She decides to give him an early Christmas present, a lap dance while covered in Christmas tree lights, making his heart beat much faster than it's supposed to and when Fifi plugged in the lights, the power for the entire house went out and turned off his respirator, giving him a heart attack. (French Fried) *'2 Unnamed Male Mobsters' - While forcing a man named Mario Bolusi to dig his own grave for not paying his debts in Sicily, Italy, Mario unknowingly unearthed an undetonated WW2 hand grenade and tosses it right in front of the mobsters, which explodes and kills them instantly, while Mario was protected inside of his grave. (Bomb-Bino) *'Cole' - A woman named Janine is in a failing marriage with him due to his erectile dysfunctions. Without telling him, she sneaks three pills of Viagra into his beer. When she tells him to have sex with her, his mistress texts him to come over to her house and have sex with her instead. Before leaving, he takes three of his own Viagra pills, and his mistress puts three more Viagra pills into a beer for him. While making love to his secret lover, he overdoses on the nine Viagra pills and dies of a heart attack on top of her. (Die-Agra) 'Up With Death' *'Unnamed man' - Former army nurse Chelsea is working late and alone at a hospital when a drug addict with a gun sticks her up and tries to rape her. However she distracts the man by stripping until she quickly turns on an MRI machine on max power to try and use the magnets inside to take away his gun, but doesn't know he has a metal plate in his skull, and his head is slammed against the machine with the force of a baseball bat. (M-R-Ouch!) *'Sean' - A cactus collector steals a valuable 6 ft tall Saguaro from the Arizona Desert and then celebrate by drinking a mixture of mescal and Peyote buttons, both powerful hallucinogens, to get high. They then have an auditory hallucination of the Saguaro cactus telling them that they'll die for stealing it, and they both freak out and run away. He died when he fell backwards and was impaled through the chest by an agave plant. (Succu Offed) *'Joe' - A cactus collector steals a valuable 6 ft tall Saguaro from the Arizona Desert and then celebrate by drinking a mixture of mescal and Peyote buttons, both powerful hallucinogens, to get high. They then have an auditory hallucination of the Saguaro cactus telling them that they'll die for stealing it, and they both freak out and run away. He died when he was impaled by hundreds of razor sharp needles of a much smaller Saguaro that pierce his brain through the eye. (Succu Offed) *Terri - To relax after a long day of film making, she rides on a motorcycle with her boyfriend Jesse. The vibrations of the motorcycle arouse her so much, she briefly forgets she's on a speeding vehicle and lets go, falling off the bike onto the road. She tumbles and breaks many bones and dies of internal organ damage. (Coming and Going) *'Mason' - A necrophiliac, someone who enjoys having sex with dead bodies, gets a job as a morgue driver. After spending the night raping the body of an unnamed dead woman, he forgets to lock the wheels of the gurney holding the casket on his way to the funeral home to be cremated. When he gets into a car wreck with another car, the coffin launches forward and the back of his head is crushed by the coffin. (Coffin Nailed) *'Gomer' - A stick-up man puts a fishnet stocking over his head before he runs into what he thinks is jewelry store, but accidentally runs into a gun store. He is quickly shot seven times by five people. (Greased Is The Word) *'Mario' - An overly aggressive hockey player, even hitting his own teammates, gets into a fight after bumping into another player. When that player falls down, their legs go up, accidentally slicing into his carotid artery, and then he quickly bleeds to death. (Blades of Gory) *'Private' Mikhail - Set five years after the Chernobyl incident, a soldier claims to his fellow soldier friends Vladimir and Sonia, that because of all the radiation, he can see through his eyelids. Vladimir however claims that he's grown a third testicle, so Sonia spends the night with him instead. Being rejected, he attempts to rape a raccoon by trying to force it to give him fellatio, but the raccoon bites his penis off and he bleeds to death. (Boris Bititoff) 'Putting A Happy Face On Death' *'Unnamed Man '- After stealing groceries from a blind and pregnant woman, he runs from the police and hides inside of a car wash. The owner of the car wash, not knowing someone was inside, runs the daily maintenance check. Unable to see due to all the water spraying him, he slips and impales his head on a high pressure nozzle, which fills his head with water until it explodes. (Rub-A-Dubbed-Out) *'Corazon' - A poor chicken killed by Maldito's Chicken named El Calliente that had a razor strapped to it's foot. (Cock-A-Doodle-Die) *'Maldito' - At an illegal cock-fight, he hides a razor onto his chicken, El Calliente, to cheat during fights. El Calliente soon kills Corazon. When his opponent, a man trying to feed his family named Fernando notices the razors hidden on the back of El Calliente, the crowd quickly gets angry and starts approaching him until he falls onto the ground. El Calliente kills his owner with his razors when it gets scared, slicing his jugular. (Cock-A-Doodle-Die) *Cynthia - While talking to her husband Kenny with a live webcam, she acts out bondage fantasies by handcuffing her hands to her chair and putting duct-tape over her own mouth. Suddenly, a thief 'with halitosis breaks in and starts stealing many things including her laptop. Before he leaves, he breathes right in her face, and the smell is so bad she starts vomiting but it can't leave her mouth due to the duct-tape, so she drowns in her own vomit. The thief gets away without any punishment, the only death in the series where the bad guy gets away unscathed. ('Chucked-Up) *Spud - A dwarf wrestler, gets an apartment with his friend Nick (a fellow dwarf) and two women, all of them are drunk, who were at their underground show. To entertain them, they smash their room and repeatedly bust holes in the walls of the room with their heads. Soon enough, Spud and Nick get a running start at a wall and Spud hits his head against a 2X4 stud and dies of brain swelling and bleeding to death. (Little Person, Big Death) *Warren - A man paranoid to the point of insomnia and paralysis sets booby-traps all around his house to protect himself. When he falls asleep after taking sleeping pills, he starts sleepwalking to get something to eat, narrowly avoiding every trap in his house until he sits on his couch and a laser operated shotgun blew his brains out. (Booby-Zapped) *Geezer - A traveler who explores the world in search of the ultimate high goes to Peru and comes across a Poison Dart Frog, thinking it's the Colorado River Toad, and licks the secretions on it. They start hallucinating until he dies of it's toxins. (ReToaded) *Trip - A traveler who explores the world in search of the ultimate high goes to Peru and comes across a Poison Dart Frog, thinking it's the Colorado River Toad, and licks the secretions on it. They start hallucinating until he dies of it's toxins. (ReToaded) *Patty - While gardening in her front yard, a neighbor rides up on his bike to greet her and she notices how well endowed he is, then asks to get drinks with him later. In her backyard garden, she looks for a vegetable close to his "size" to practice fellatio with, and goes with a zucchini. While she practiced with it, she steps on a garden hoe that smacks the zucchini down her windpipe and she chokes to death on it. (Vegged Out) *Jimmy - A hazardous material removal worker likes to get high off of laughing gas but want to take it to the next level. He dons a hazmat suit and connects it to a nitrous oxide tank which fills up automatically and after a few minutes of breathing nothing but laughing gas, he chokes to death. German version of the show only. (Die Laughing) 'Bringing In The Dead' *'Larry' - Driving while drunk with his friend Amos, he gets car sick after two six-packs and leans outside of his window to vomit. While he does, he doesn't notice a metal mailbox in front of him, and gets decapitated by it. (D.U.Die) *Natasha - A belly dancer practices to win a "belly dancer of the universe" competition in her living room and at one point uses a scarf along with her dance. Unfortunately, it gets caught in her spinning ceiling fan and she accidentally and painfully hangs herself. (Belly'd Up) *'Unnamed Man' - Bobby "Sledgehammer" Jones is a part time boxer and part time cross dresser. After training, he leaves the gym into an ally where a man mistakes him for a woman and tries to rape him but Bobby punches him in the temple so hard, the man dies of blood loss and brain damage. (Suck Her Punched) *Jasper - A moonshiner gets drunk taste testing his whiskey and finds the perfect batch so he goes over to his safe. Unable to open it due to forgetting his combination from drinking, he gets upset quickly and kicks his safe, breaking his toe. Two weeks later, he dies of septic shock. (Jack N Croaked) *Brett - Suzette tries cooking a good exotic dinner in order to get him to be her boyfriend, but tended to over use spices in her dishes. Wanting him to smell several exotic spices, not knowing he had asthma and him not telling her thinking it made him look weak, he soon has an asthma attack. He runs out of medicine in his inhaler and she believes he's faking it, so she doesn't help him, and he dies of a massive asthma attack. (Dead Heat) *Sheldon - An Orthodox Jewish man falls in love with a Hawaiian Hula dancer named Leilani and starts stalking her to try and make her fall for him, including leaving her gifts at her doorsteps, singing outside her house, and takes up surfing lessons but fails miserably. One night, he crashes a luau to try and propose to her and she of course says "no". Rejected, he starts drinking and tries joining in on a torch dance but accidentally catches on fire. The audience thinks it's part of the show and he burns to death. (Poi Vey) *'Shuggy' - A thief robs a gas station and as he leaves, an old man named Arthur up the hill from dies in his car from old age. Arnold's car, having not been in park, rolls down the hill and runs over him. (ReTired) *'Carl' - An abusive husband yells at his wife named Mary while she cleans the dishes to do more chores, so she starts mopping the floor. Later, he comes back drunk while wearing socks to berate her more and Mary tells him she wants a divorce. Enraged, he charges at her, slips on the floor, and is stabbed in the heart by a knife that was facing upwards in the dishwasher. Mary smiles as she finally leaves the house. German version of the show only. (Cleane-Dead Solution) 'Gratefully Dead' *Carl Dunbar - A frequent patient at a hospital with a fetish for sticking things up his butt until they get stuck goes there again for sticking a shampoo bottle inside of him. When the doctor leaves the room, he shoves nine thermometers up his butt and when the doctor suddenly comes back, he sits back down quickly and shatters them. They cut large veins in his colon and mercury seeps into his bloodstream, shutting down his kidneys, and he dies of toxic shock. (Mercury in Uranus) *'Mikey' - A bike riding thief steals the purse of a former stripper named Sylvia, threatening her with a screwdriver when she didn't let go, in front of a neighbor named Doug. Doug starts chasing down the thief and he crashes when he hits a rock and lands on top of his screwdriver that pierces his heart. (A Turn For The Purse) *Pete - A drunken weightlifter makes a bet with his friend Hank that he can lift a 350 Pound (158 Kilogram) I-Beam he found on a construction sight. Hank leaves before he tries lifting it anyways but it falls onto his chest and crushed his windpipe. He quickly suffocated to death. (Dead Weight) *'Roman' - He tries to give an excorcism to Stacy, his 17 year old gothic foster child, by tying her to the ground in their back yard with two others, believing she's possessed by Satan. During the ritual, they burn lots of coal and incense, which was releasing a toxic chemical called Benzopyrene inside of a tent with no ventilation. The incense knocks him out and the carbon monoxide chokes him to death. Stacy leaves unharmed due to the fresh air near the ground, not caring about her foster parents being dead. (Cult Evaded) *'Minnie' - She tries to give an excorcism to Stacy, her 17 year old gothic foster child, by tying her to the ground in their back yard with two others, believing she's possessed by Satan. During the ritual, they burn lots of coal and incense, which was releasing a toxic chemical called Benzopyrene inside of a tent with no ventilation. The incense knocks her out and the carbon monoxide chokes her to death. (Cult Evaded) *'2 Unnamed Men - '''Cult friends of '''Roman and Minnie', dies with them in the ritual. (Cult Evaded) *Mindy - Her boyfriend, Lex, doesn't like how much she smokes and after they have sex seeing her smoke again, he gives an ultimatum: either stop smoking or he'll stop having sex with her. Being a sex addict, she doesn't want to give him up, so she tries to quit overnight. She sticks a month's worth of nicotine patches onto her skin and dies of cardiac arrest. (Smoke-A-Doped) *Unnamed Man - After drinking with his friend, he attempts to make his own bungie jump by jumping off of a cherry picker with rope that's too long, and he dies when he breaks every bone in his body. He also dies at the same time as the other unnamed man in Nevada. (Two Stoopid) *Unnamed Man - After drinking with his friend, he tries to invent a new sport called Matress Surfing where you balance on top of a matress on a speeding car. He quickly falls off and breaks every bone in his body. He also dies at the same time as another unnamed man in Maine. (Two Stoopid) *Bernard - A mentally unstable man obsessed with cows and their milk sneaks into a dairy farm to drink straight from their udders. When he bites down too hard, the cow kicks him in his forehead and dies of internal bleeding. (Cream-Ated) 'Come On, Get Deathy' * Season 3 Season 4 Total Deaths *Season 1 (12 episodes) - 90 Deaths. 11 of which were off-screen, 10 were intentional murders and 1 died accidentally. 2 were executions. *Season 2 (12 episodes) - *Season 3 (41 episodes) - *Season 4 (8 episodes) - *Total Amount of Deaths - Notes *Mentions of people who died/were killed off-screen, people and animals who die offscreen but appear in the episode (victim's corpses), killers, negligent murderers, thieves, rapists and/or attempted rapists, and basically any criminal are all highlighted. People who aren't criminals but are still assholes are highlighted '''since they are that segemnt's bad guy/girl. Kills in self defense or accidental kills (out of a persons control/will/knowledge) are not highlighted. *People who could have potentially died but the narrator didn't say they did, will be counted as dead, unless shown otherwise. (Season 2, episode 3 '''Coffin Nailed is an example) *Foreign to the US of A segments are italicized. Category:Stubs Category:TV Category:TV Shows Category:Comedy Category:Horror